Choices, choices, choices…

Ok, so I want to get back to writing, like as of yesterday, but I have one tiny little problem.  See while I was waiting to get the inspiration to work on “Jumper”, I would of course get other novel ideas and write them all down and tinker on some of them.  I’m still not ready to work on “Jumper”, and thought I’d try a contemporary novel idea I had.  Problem is, “Jumper” is still screaming at me and forming in my mind as I try to work on other stuff.  Why am I not working on it?  Why do I keep pushing it to the back burner?  I guess because the story is still cooking in my mind.  But then what do I work on now?

I had a novel I was working on for last year’s Nano, but decided to quit because it needed an outline and I had no time to work on one.  So I am thinking of working on it now that I’ve found a way to make it work where I can tell the point of view of both characters from a book I am currently reading.  But that is not the contemporary novel I was thinking of working on.  I started outlining that one the other day and finding character names and whatnot.

Then I went through my writing folder, big mistake, and found all the other work I’d started on and didn’t carry through.  “Jumper” is the only one I carried through and finished the first draft, only to see that it wasn’t the right story my characters were trying to tell. So I am restarting it.  Keeping the skeleton of the story, but changing it around.  Even my main character Andrea has change some. So it still needs to be outlined. Maybe I need to focus on “Jumper” and leave these other novels alone until I finish it. “Jumper” won’t let me rest until it is written.

So maybe I already have the answer in front of me?  Just work on “Jumper” and get that story out of me since my characters are now being so talkative and I don’t have the deadline stress of Nano to tell me when to finish it by.  Of course I want to give myself only 3 months to finish it so it won’t be something I am still working on 5 years from now.  I mean it’s already something that I’ve been working on for a little over 2 years.  So maybe its time to get this novel done.  I really want to actively try to become an author.  Writing is just something that I find so fascinating and I have so many stories to tell.  So I’m deciding that this year is the year I am going to get serious about it.  I think I doubted myself before, but not anyone.  I’m still worried people won’t like me and any published works will be destined for lone dark shelves at discount liquidator stores and dollar stores, but I can’t let that fear stop me.  Because who knows, maybe one day my book will be reviewed by some of the awesome reviewers out there and be read by the awesome readers out there on their suggestions.  Maybe my book will be on a bookstore shelf one day and someone “will just have to have it”.  I can’t tell the future, and I shouldn’t act like I can.  I should just believe in myself, my work, and the fact that I’m pretty dang awesome. 

So…(takes a deep breath)…“Jumper” it is then.  I’m actually nervous about it.  I keep thinking it’s not ready to be written, but then when will it ever be ready?  So I guess me and my characters are going to be having a chat now.  Wish us luck.  This is going to be the year I finish this novel, and by my calculations, by the time May starts.  I am going to work on the outline for another couple of days, and since Feb. is short a few days I will be starting the actual novel writing on Jan. 30th.  So I have 4 days to get this outline done.  Busy bee mode is on.  I’ll keep you updated.  Bye for now. 

Writing away,
M.